"That will be my love letter to you."

The title of this blog is something that Waylon often says to me in conversation. We try to have the 'what are your needs' or 'how can I love you better' conversations every so often. We understand that this world is full of detrimental relationships and we know that if we do not consistently work on our relationship than we will become one of those detrimental relationships.




In many of these kinds of conversations Waylon communicates that the actions that he tries to communicate to me are a love letter to me. He doesn't have to write down flowery and beautiful things to me because he shows his love letter to me in the life that we are striving to live together. I think this statement is actually borne out of the understanding that we often here our mentor and advisor state that the Bible is a love letter to us, as the people of the world. While this love letter has been written to us it also is lived out among us through this community called the church.





Well I heard a part of this love letter in a new way while sitting in one of my Old Testament classes this morning. We are going through the prophets and trying to understand the purpose and the significance of these men and women in world of the Israelites and in our world as well. We were discussing Hosea today. If you don't know much about Hosea here is a short summary of what the book is about. God calls Hosea to marry a women who is a prostitute. So, Hosea being the presence of God in Israel marries Gomer and has a child with her. But, the story doesn't end there. We soon find out that Gomer is still active in her life of prostitution and has two children with men that are not Hosea. Gomer returns to her old life and leaves Hosea in the dust.

She commits a sin against love. My prof stated that he considers this sin against love is the most detrimental sin, it is the sin that causes the most pain.

Now if we were to look at this story in our modern or even our postmodern lens we would probably conclude that Hosea has every right to leave Gomer. I mean c'mon, she cheated on him and then returned to her old life and left him in a bad way. It seems that the pain in Hosea is too much and it would make sense if he were to leave her to nurse his wounds and to rid himself of her unfaithfulness.





But, there is a sudden twist in the story and God tells Hosea to buy his bride back. God asks Hosea to experience a different kind of love. A pained love. A love of choice. The reason God asks Hosea to buy Gomer back is because He is trying to display his pain to his adulteress's wife. See God made a covenant with Israel and Israel was cheating on God with other gods. God wants to show the Israelites through the prophet of Hosea that His love is greater than pain.





So, Hosea goes and buys his bride back. He spends a fourth of a years salary plus some on buying her back, because even God knows that love is priceless. It does not matter the price of love it is always worth paying for.





Then my professor asks the question that surprisingly bothered me. He asked do you think Hosea and his Gomer worked out in the end? Did they have a happy ending? Most of the people in my class said that it probably wouldn't work out, that she would probably go back to her old ways, to her old habits.





Surprisingly I was bothered by this, and maybe it's because I really relate to Gomer, I really relate to Israel. I obviously am not a prostitute, not in the physical sense anyway, but I definitely sell myself for little to nothing. My attention, my needs, my wants are bought at a very cheap price. I long for self gratification, and so I relate to Gomer because I understand what it means to prostitute my soul, my emotions, my love, my mind to simple and lustrous fulfillment's. I commit the most painful sin of all by selling myself for cheap gratification and cheap value.





Yet, I have been loved purely by Christ and that is where I long to find my fulfillment. I so long to be loved with pure intentions and with a long lasting commitment. I long to be loved in a way that isn't focused on self gratification. I long to be loved through my pain and through my sin.





And I find this kind of love in different places within the church. I find it hugely in Waylon. I find it hugely among my peers and among my co-workers, but I find it the most in the love letter that I have received from God, himself. He seems to use the different people in my love to demonstrate his lasting, patient, committed love to me.





So, maybe Gomer did stay with Hosea. Maybe Hosea was that pure love that she longed for. Maybe Gomer continued to be distracted by her shallow means of self gratification, but maybe she understood that she actually wanted a commitment, that she could count on. Maybe she longed for a love letter that was written in words but that was actually lived out over time.

Bad or Empty?

I tend to do things that are bad but I tend to feel no guilt for them. This could be a result in my desensitized mind and soul or it could also be the result of my disposition to do bad things.

Let's face it many of us break the speed limit, we are dishonest, we covet, we expose ourselves to raw human filth through media, we are prideful, we are jealous, we often spit fire when we are angry. Now I am sure there are some of you reading this that would never own up to any of these things, so maybe you should stop reading now.

But, for those who do things like this and who don't feel much guilt in doing these things I think I have discovered a reality that I had not before understood.

In the Christian circle these "bad" things we do would be considered sin. They are selfish and make our world about protecting ourselves from everyone and everything around us. They are fulfillment's to the desire of becoming greater than we actually are. These "bad" things are actions we are supposed to stay away from.

If we want to be a "good" Christian you can't do "bad" things.

Now I am all for morality. From a philosophical point of view one must have morality so that one can function in a healthy society. So what makes my morality as a Christian different than from a person who does not have faith, or does not have faith in the same God that I worship? Why is my morality better?

Many would say our morality is better because it comes from Jesus. But even the Islamic religion views Jesus as an extremely moral teacher. Someone that they could learn much from.

Here's what I think. I myself am moving away from the moral theology that I have understood all of my life, and I am moving towards a light and dark theology. It seems that this kind of theology does not hold up in court. While I still retain my morality and I still find it valuable in looking at the person of Jesus I have come to the realization that it is meaningless on it's own.

I have written about my light and dark theology in the past on this blog but another way of putting it is being led by love. I recently heard a sermon that put into words what I feel about moral Christianity. Instead of being led by what is right and what is wrong, we must be led by love.

To describe this new theology that I have come to understand must be written over many posts, so the first post I would like to write is the post about how sin is viewed in this kind of theology.

Like I said morality has it's piece to play in this theology and often times your moral actions are the best indicator of what is going on in the heart. However, the view that sin is bad needs to be changed.

Because bad is not the right description for what sin actually is.

Sin is empty. Not like in a, 'my cup is empty and I want God's love to fill it up', more like an emptiness that is meaningless and dull and devoid of vitality. At least those are some definitions that come with the word empty. It's like having a draught on the land for five years. There is lack of everything.

This emptiness is full of sorrow for those who know the Good News because when you are filled with the love of Christ it is understood that when you see someone who is empty it is heartbreaking. The difference between a sinful life and a Christ life is that one is empty and the other if full.

See Christians are supposed actually believe the Good News they proclaim. I think one of the reasons the people in the world don't trust the church is because the church doesn't believe it's own Good News. Maybe that's one of the reasons why people scoff at us and call us hypocrites. It's not about doing the good thing morally anymore. It's about actually proclaiming the Good News.

Maybe it's more about the love that we feel and understand from our own walks that should define how we view the people around us. Maybe we should stop viewing people as black and white and start viewing them from a Love theology.