Written for my Roommate

Dear Morgan,

In our recent discussion we have been conversing about the duality of thoughts. Your last journal post spurred this discussion and has turned the clockwork in my brain. I was sitting this summer listening to Bano speak about the duality of art and faith. The idea that we are trying to live this life that is messy and hard. We are searching for the truth.

Through this search we find ourselves on different levels of thought. Specifically about the world in which we live in, and the way that world sees us. This creates a plethora of emotional stigma which then leads to the incomprehensible and destructable thoughts that float through our atmosphere. We then breath in those thoughts and breath out every insecurity and flaw that we feel as mere mortals.

Sitting in my own disgust I then realize and wholly understand the action of these thoughts that are self absorbed. These thoughts seap through my pores and fill them in, becoming black foaming entities. Not only do they create oil filled pimples but the stink from those thoughts come off of my body. This could be compared to sitting on the train next to a man who has had to much to drink, and knowing that, not because of his breath alone, but because of the stentch that exudes from his body. I then carry around with me a mindset of muck because of my search for the truth.

This mindset becomes transformed over time when I come into the comfortable presence of the one who loves me. I then start to look over those old thoughts and create new ones, because of the great transformer. While I still see the remnants of those old thoughts I have air to breath that is sweeter. My face clears up and my stentch becomes and aroma, more like a women on a train who has the authority and genuaility of a proper lady.

However, the process of transformation should not be worried upon, but be praised, because the grace of God becomes clearer through the mistakes we make. We are mortal beings, with clear glass souls that are cracked upon contact, but when God comes in the picture that glass becomes filled. If the glass casing is broken than God is spilled out unto the viens, and this God consumes the entity of the body.

To all the doubters of my roommate's journey, I say to you, praise the process of transformation, because if you miss it, you miss the consumation of God.

To the best roommate of all time,

alison

The Lord Appears to Elijah.

"And the word fo the Lord came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

He replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the onlly one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

He replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

The Lord said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. when you get there, annoint Hazael king over aram. Also annoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and annoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel-all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."

the first conversation

Dr. Mangano brought up some interesting points in class yesterday. We were talking about the fall and he asked this question;

"Why did the serpent go to Eve?"

Here are some noted answers from the class:
1. She was collecting food for Adam and the serpent came at her then.
2. Eve didn't have the mental capacity of Adam.
3. The serpent was second to God and the women was second to man so the serpent knew they could relate.
4. The serpent wouldn't be able to pursuade Adam because he was the ruler of creation.
5. The serpent knew that Eve could be more pursuasive so he went after her first.

There were two trees in the Garden. The tree of life, which produced food for Adam and Eve. This tree sustained Adam and Eve because they were not immoral or eternal. The other tree in existence was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God told Adam that he could not eat of the tree of knowledge or he will surely die along with Eve. While we were batting around ideas my prof brought into the picture the basic components of the fall. The idea that because Adam didn't love his wife the way Christ loved the church he sinned first.

Adam was passive, which was the first sin comminted in the garden.

Eve was decieved by the serpent and broke God's commandment, which was the second sin committed in the garden.

Adam ate the fruit of the tree of knowlege, which was the third sin commited in the garden.

When God came calling he found Adam and Eve hiding in the bush and cursed them. They didn't die physically, but they became mediums. Corpses, no longer living, but not dead.

Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden because God didn't want them living in their own Hell. He wanted to cut them off from the tree of Life so that they could not live in their state of wickedness for all times. He offered them Grace, rather than eternal deprevation.

While they headead out from the Garden they couldn't taste things, feel things, understand things through the eyes of goodness.

I know that when the church returns to that state we will be able to wear the white dress for our union with Christ.

Worship

"Soren Kierkegard compared worship to a theatre in a way that is particularly apt for the sacrificial rituals of Israel, especially when we grasp the point he was making. Theatres are places where dramas are performed by actors in front of an audience. In the worship of Israel the worshippers were the players, not the audience, and they were assigned an active role. It was God who was the audience, and whose benefit the drama was presented, and God who was to be satisfied. For that reason, the rituals were carefully prescribed and observed. How different from much present-day worship that turns the congregation into an audience of passive onlookers whose feelings need massaging and whose every taste and whim need satisfying! It is a foolish reversal of roles that places God on the stage as an actor who is required to entertain his people."

The Message of Leviticus, Tidball.

The Last Night

All summer Student Community prepared for their junior high camp. There theme was Day One.

Brillant. It was a great theme and was extremley well put together. It was probably one of the best themes that I have ever read and participated in.

The idea behind it is that today is Day one. Day one in encountering Christ, day one in understanding His love and grace, and day one in living the life that we as Christians are called to live, separatly and in a community.

I was sitting in a mentored ministry meeting and my advisor, Dr. J.K. Jones, asked us to turn to John 13. It is the story of Jesus washing his disciples feet. I have heard this story many times and have even experienced this kind of servanthood at highschool retreats, but J.K. came at this story from a different angle.

Jesus saw a need, and he met it. It was an extrodinary act that made ripples on His community, but in the moment it was a need that was met. On Christ's last night as a free person he met the needs of his closest friends, spirtually, emotionally, and physically. The community that he was leading wouldn't understand this kind of act until they understood the journey of Christ himself, but that was yet to come in the early church.

What will you do with your last night? J.K. Jones asked this question, and it stuck to me like jelly. I was so concerned with the beginnings of Christianity this summer that I suddenly forgot the urgency of the end.

So, what will you do with your last night?

Men and Women in the Church, Sarah Sumner

"I have been told that Christian women in Korea feel devastated socially if they turn thirty before marriage. Evidently they feel challenged, even in the church, to find their role. As I see it, the issue of their role is not the problem.

The problem, rather, lies in everyone around them who feels at a loss to knwo how to relate to them as single Christian women. My single female friends in the United States, expecially those over the age of forty who have never been married, constantly describe the same ordeal. Tehy feel many Christians do not know how to relate to them comfortably. Instead, people want to know "how they're coping" with their singleness and lack of motherhood.

In other words, they want to know how they're coping with there conventional rolelessness."

High matience Homeless

K-Shea and I went down to the city yesterday, to hang out and just enjoy each other's company. It was a blast. We ended up on the magnificant mile. It's amazing the different kind of people that are around that area. The mile has changed quite a bit since I have been there last. I tend to go into the city quite often but I'm never on Michigan Avenue(unless I'm seeing my sister at work).

Usually I'm in uptown.(Usually hanging out with my sister)

But there were crazy street performes one whom resembled Jonny Depp from the Secret Window. He was a vantriliquist and was pretty good. We also ventured into the world of human statues, who charged a dollar per picture, and we saw a puppet show on the street. When I encounterd the puppet show I was in a state of shock. Not often do you see such things.

So K-Shea and I enjoyed and gallavanted down this mile of merchandise, but we suddenley felt the urge for some substanance so we went to Giordono's. In the pizza arena Giordono's is high up in having the best deep dish pizza ever. We had fellowship and talked of many things while scarfing down a small deep dish sausage and mushroom pizza.

We ened up having two pieces of pizza left, so we figured if we saw someone on the stree that looks hungry or that was holding a sign that says "I need food, starving, Hungry!" we would just give our pizza to them.

We started south on the magnificant mile after dinner and ran into someone who had a sign that stated "Hungry, Please feed!" I asked if this person if she wanted our pizza and she replied with a quick and sharp no while continuing to stare off into space.

As we walked away, I felt kind of offended. I didn't realize that the homeless people on the magnificant mile were so high mantience. I just assumed that if someone was holding a sign that said hungy, that person would be grateful for a couple of deep dish sausage and mushroom peices of pizza.

I guess we all know where assuming takes us.

The Rulebook

"The people who know the rule book are the only ones going by it"

I heard this on a television show advertisment. Some new cop show that they are coming out with. The first thing that the ad states is, in a deep advertising voice of course "There is the cop who follows the rules, and then there is the professional who have thrown them out." Then the top quote follows. Now, yes it seems extremley cheesy and the whole basis of the show has been done and redone but I do like that quote.

The idea that the only people who truly follow the rules are the ones that know the rules. I can relate this to Christianity by parralleling 'Christians' and 'nonChristians'. By doing this I am pointing out that Christians arn't tolerate enough. The reality is that Christians follow a certian code and a certain rule book and we shouldn't judge other people by our moral stadards and expectations.

But I kind of want to hit on a different angle. What if we redirected and realized that the revolutionaries of this world consist of two kinds of people.

1.) People who know guidelines and rules and stick to them in an effort to create a dictonomy of harmony in their environments.
2.) People who know the guidelines and the rules so well that they either do one of two things; they learn how to manipulate them to there advantage, or they revamp them and they turn them into priniciples of their lives.

Principles are not concrete and cannot be broken.

So all in all I think that the first line stated in this blog is irrelevant, because everyone lives by their own moral standard. There is not one being on this earth who lives apart from themselves. Everyone is following someone or someone's ruling. I just think that there can be revolution in that. I think that men and women can grasp the ideals and morals of the universe and create something that is very much the same but still causes goose bumps to crawl up your friends arms.

One is never enough

I was working today, as usual, and there was a kid that started complaining that one frozen hot chocolate is not enough and will never be enough.

I have felt like that all summer. I have learned that people spend to much money and have the total mentality that one is never enough. I have been working in a coffee shop all summer, and the money that students carry around is disgusting.

My regulars blow my mind, because in reality, they come in three or four times a week and spend four or five dollars everyday on their coffee.

That is crazy to me. I know and understand that I spent and can spend that much money in one setting, but it still frustrates me.

I think that seeing how much money people spend on coffee shows what kind of lifestyle they lead in their lives.

And then, I could be wrong.

Mel's Mistake

I am a huge fan of Mel Gibson. I love most of the movies that he makes and I think that he is a cool guy.

Mel messed up on monday by getting drunk, getting into a car, and then making anti-semetic remarks to a couple of officers who pulled him over.

Mel has recently apologized to everyone involved and then some.

Now I do think that he was totally in the wrong for getting drunk in public and getting into a car and then making racist remarks, because he is in the public scene. He is a Christian who has stood up for his beliefs, and that makes him automatically in the spotlight. When you are in the spotlight for standing up for something you better live that way.

However, I do not agree with the way that Hollywood is handling the situation. People are freaking out. Making statments like "I'm never going to work with him or see any of his movies."

This is the orginization that has had more deaths involving drugs, more scandal, more sex, more racial problems, and more money then any other orginization in the nation.

If you don't agree with Mel's actions and words, stop putting racial sterotypes in your movies.
Producers, writers, and directors will make the argument that, racisim is a reality of life, and that is true but if we keep sterotyping races than racism is not going to stop.

I know people screw up and when they are drunk they lose control of their words and actions. Mel Gibson has no excuse for his behavior but Hollywood has no excuse for their's either.

The reason that they are standing up against him is because he has been standing up for his beliefs, for the past couple of years.

Oh and the reality of the Passion which apparantly is the anti-semetic movie that Mel came out with is that the Jews historically sent Jesus to be cruxified. Like it or not that is the reality of the situation. That is not anti-semetic, that's the truth.

A new Adventure

I have 20 days left until I go back to school.

That seems outlandish to me.

It's weird to live with a group of people for a year and then separate for three months. Three months is a mountain of time, and could completely change your lifestyle.

I'm really ready.

Haha 20 days.

Dirty socks

Don't be ashamed of the dirty socks that are hidden under the bed. When you find them wear them with diginity and pride during the day. Run, jump, and sit in the dirty socks that were found. At the end of the night take off those socks that have been lived in and shove them right back under the bed.

One day you will find them and you will smell them. After that smell you will realize that there has to be a bad smell so you can recognize the good smells in the world.

If we don't experience the bad, we will never live the good out to it's fullest.

70 years

Psalm 90:10
The length of our days is seventy years- or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

There are 25,550 days in 70 years.

I have already lived 6,935

I have 18,615 days left to live if I am lucky.

When are you going to start living?

Awake

God is doing big things.

I'm just glad I'm awake for it.

God tore me out of bed last night.

The title is truth in all it's entirity. God tore me out of bed last night.

It all started with the idea of a sword. Actually it started with Shawn Williams' sermon illustration about laying your sword down before God and pledging your alliegance to God. He used this illustration at CIY two summer's ago and it was one of his best messages that I have ever heard. Then I remembered that Shawn always called his Bible the sword. So while all these thoughts were being swirled around I also realized that swords were used for hand to hand combat and it was a tool that was used for protection.

While all these thoughts were stewing God was calling me to get up and write them down. Thoughts like this late at night is an often occurance and I usually jot them down in the morning if I remember them and that is an often occurance in itself. But, I finally got out of bed after an hour of nudging and came up with something greater than myself.

I then was told to look up Galations 5 which, hit on exactly what God was telling me. Weird huh? God works in incredible and nagging ways.

UFC

Just finished watching UFC. It was intense up until the last two fights which were wimpy and kind of flip flopped. If you watched, you know what I mean.

The UFC reminds me of the Roman Collisium. It is two guys in the ring fighting until someone gets knocked out or the round ends. So, i guess it's a little more civilized. While the Romans sent prisoners in to the ring to fight lions, gladiators, and other prisoners to the death, the ultimate theme is still the same.

Proof of something. The Romans and the UFC'ers want and need to prove something to their fans and to themselves. They need to prove that they are not only strong enough to survive but also to dominate.

And that strength is what captivated me. I could not stop watching these fights. Punch by kick, I was hooked and got really involved. I had stepped out of the room I was in and was there. It was a cool and invergerating experience.

All they need now...is swords.

'Peace like a River'

"My sister, Swede, who often sees to the nub, offered this: People fear miracles because they fear being changed-though ignoring them will change you also. Swede said another thing, too, and it rang in me like a bell: No miracle happens without a witness. Someone to declare, Here's what I saw. Here's how it went. Make of it what you will."- Peace like a River, by Leif Enger.

Miracles are the magnificant creativities that display the power of who God is by reversing the systen that He, himself created. They are the reactions of men who understand that feeling the wind is a simple precaution to the storm that is ahead. The earth fights the miracles that God presents us with but they are truly divine and cannot be denyed.

However, God is creative, so his creations will not ever resemble the actualities of each other. All of God's miracles are different, even though occasionally they seem to look a like.

Don't miss the floating creativity of God while living in the background of gravity.

The Beauty of the Gospel

I was in small group on Thursday night and we were talking about what it means to live an offensive live.

One of the girls in my smizzle grizzle started talking about the beauty of the gospel. The captivating character of God. She stated that the gospel wasn't offensive but the way people took it was. She also said that we shouldn't be trying to live an offensive life, we should be trying to live a life drawn into the presence of God, and many situations will follow.

To live an offensive life is to realize that you are in a story that cannot be controlled but can be lived. It is a story that captivates all of us. It is a story that allows the greatness of God to be apart of our every day lives.

The thing is that to live this life is to follow the holy spirit around. We don't that do that. The H.S. is not a fixture in our faith and is something that is not regularly talked about. How can we learn from God, and follow Christ, if we are not be led by the Spirit.

Any thoughts?

Extremity

Kelly Shea needed to get gas and I needed to get gum so we stopped off at the old gas station on Washington and Gartner. I walked in and was wearing my S.W.A.P shirt.

The guy behind the counter asked me what it meant and I told him it was an acronim for Serving with a Purpose. We ended up getting into a conversation about what that meant and who Community was and he told me that he actually attends A.A. meetings on Friday nights at the yellow box. He then told me that the guy who owned that gas station actually goes to CCC with his six kids. Crazy huh?

I finally just gave him my email and told him he should come and check out our small group.

The only problem is that I forget to tell him my name, and I forgot to get his. So the no named gas clerk hopefully will email me and I can learn his name.

Whoops. I'll update later to tell what happens.

Being offensive on the offense.

I was talking to my old stucopastor, Shawn Williams, this guy is a huge influence in the realm of multiplying student leaders and student worship locations. He is also a personal influence in my own life and has shaped me as a leader and as thinker. To all of the Lincolnites who consider my thinking anylitical it is mainly because of this guy.

So we were talking about the terrorists who were planning to attack the Sears Tower. I was asking him how we can live out our lives as Christians and still interact with these men and women who are just as devout in their faith.

Shawn took a different angle, as usual, and looked at Christ and the disciples lives as a map to how we should interact with different faiths. He stated that these men were on the offense, they never reacted to anything. Their cause was bigger than they were. However, they offended people left and right. They proclaimed the gospel on the offense but they proclaimed it in a way that was offensive.

We then continued to talk abou the fact that we can live morally right lives but that isn't going to change lives. Even pagans can live morally right lives and still not proclaim Christ. It comes down to a conversation.

So is there a balance. My generation is being fed the emeregant church bit. That relationships are essential. But then there is this old idea hanging there. Which is diolouge. The idea of offending someone is highly out of the question, but why? When did we get so concerned about what other people think.

So in essence, how do we proclaim the gospel on the offense yet live it out in a way thats offensive?