My life as an embarrassment

So I have discovered some things about my life.
First: Im constantley clumsly...I run into walls, tables, desks, peoples, doors, I also drop things constantley. Always throwing things around.
Second: My whole life is an embarrassment. Heres why-I consistently stick my foot in my mouth:

Let me write to you an example of the second statment:
I was sitting in my Principles of bible study today just spacing which I sometimes do. Right when I snapped back into reality my Prof said "Christians don't like to talk about sex" and in complete utter reaction I stated "I do" loud enough for the whole class to here. Now lets review the two previous statement...I run into things and I put my foot in my mouth. After I stated that I talk about sex my whole class started laughing which is the reaction that someone should get after a comment like that.

I suddenley became transparent in front of my whole class as one student pointed out and was know as "Well Alison was transparent" the rest of the class. HA

So if you have any embarrassing stories please leave it for everyone to see.
umm Again this kind of thing happens to me all the time.

Im over

I think I have officially ended this blog...

It has accomplished much more than it should have...

If you want to know about my life call me or write to me yourself you big sloth...

Good bye

Thanksgiving

Do you ever look forward to somthing so much that everything else can seem mundane in the moment?

This last week has been that for me. For two reasons. First I have been sick and I think that when one gets sick they become much more vulnerable than when thier healthy and energenic.

And B. I have yearned for home. Now if you know me...well...you know that home can get rough from time to time and it's not a place that I have ever yearned for, but it feels good when your surrounded by people who know you... Who know you so well that with one word or one sentece they can put you in your place. I have a brash personality and I am excited to be challenged.

I like a good challenge...I see it as an adventure. So if you ever want to challenge me and really make me think give it to me becuase most of the time I can meet that challenge, and sometimes I can even succeed it.

However there are always times when I will fail...I will promise you one thing...I may fail, yes, but I lived in the process. I may let you down but at least I had the oppurtunity to let you down.

Anyway...I'm also excited for the food. The good turkey and stuffing. MMMM.....so good. In essence Im looking forward to Thanksgiving. That is the thing that Im excited about....

Oh and don't eat yellow snow.

Heart Ache

My heart aches...
I feel like it's being ripped out of my chest peice by peice and my stomach is being place in my throat. Then after being ripped out of my chest being rubbed through the mud and thrown up on.

It's one of those days in which you just hope you can get through the day without breaking down and if you do break down hoping no one and yet everyone sees you.

There's a lot of cumilating things that have caused this heart ache. A lot of things I wish I could run from but in reality can't. Oh well. Just another one of the days of learning the hard way...

Questions

Some questions that have come to mind while going to school

1.) Can you still be wise in the way you live and obtain wisodom?
2.) Why do people name food items after animals or their feet?
3.) How could a just God want the Cannanites completley wiped out?
4.) How old is Doc Henderson...and is he old enough to have taught the disciples?
5.) Are you given the gift of the Holy Spirit through immersion or through the form of question?
6.) Why isn't Wal- Mart open 24 hours a day?
7.) Why does the train go by at twelve o'clock every night?
8.) Why does Jesus look like a women in the statue in from of the chapel?
9.) Who came up with "walk around the chapel three times and you'll be engaged"?
10.) Who actually cooks the cafeteria food? Where does it come from?
12.) How does my bed get made when I leave to go home and come back two days later?
13.) Are their little men working in the library?
14.) Why are we referred as little Christs? Are they making a short joke? Was Jesus short?
15.) How many books are actually in the library?

If you have any response to these quesitons please leave a comment.

Going Home

So I recently went home for a wedding and saw a lot of people from the highschool days. It's weird when you see people you havn't seen in three years.
It usually goes like this

Oh my Gosh how are you!!!

Good. how are you?

Good.

Akward silence...well I'll see you later.

ok bye good to see you!

Sometimes the conversations continue on but sometimes they start as soon as they end. It can be really great to see people you havn't seen in a while but life happens. Seeing my two best friends and spending a great amout of time with them is amazing. School seems to be forgotten and those involved in my school life. Don't get me wrong I love school, and my friends from school. It's just different. It's like you come back from a three or six month period with all the stories you have collected and then in the moment with the people you care about most you just seem to forget about them and you are so consumed in the moment that all you can think about is how you don't get to see these people everyday and how different life is now. It was so good seeing the people I hadn't seen in a long time but it also was very sad. Remembering the good times and the bad. The good decisions the bad and the wise. The hurt and the pain, and the laughter and joy. The memories that are so imbedded in an individual and the feelings that encompass them.

The past creates who we are the present defines our current status and the future does nothing for us except creates a sense of hope that some day we will be the person we were meant to be.

To the people who helped create me from my past...thankyou...to the people who are currently establishing me...thank you....for the people yet to come....thankyou.

Wal-Mart

So there's not much to do here in Lincoln. But there is a Wal-Mart. And I found these things to do while being in the Wal-Mart besides shopping of course...
15 Thangs to do while in Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! '

If you plan to do any for these things I would like to know what your expereince was like.

Hoe-down

My dream was completed last night as I dressed in flannel and did an allaman left.

Yes that's right I attended my first hoe-down. Now I know most of you are very skeptical as I was but when I walked in I heard the famous words I heard in highschool. Line up against the wall. These words marked my freshman year with anguish and fear, becuase I was a intimated girl in an akward time but this time instead of ending up with someone gross with clammy hands I took control of the situation and ended up with one of my good friends.

When we started dancing we kept messing up which is just a funny thing but all in all I had a good time. Then we line danced. For those of you who don't know what this term means it is where many people stand in a line and follow the instructor to do certain steps. Also a good ole time.

But last but certainley not least was the circle dance. Now that is not the real name for this dance but we definitley were in a circle so I have renamed it. We all stood in a circle and was with our partner and then we moved. We switched partners. Now if you don't know what this means its this... I got to dance with every boy there. Actually it was a great way to meet new people. Plus I love to dance.

So all in all it was a great night full of flannels, lemonades, mess ups, and get downs.

Who are you?

Are you a church or a synagouge?

My neigbors

So here is who I live near and their descriptions.

There is my roommate. Who's name is Chatterson. She is a crazy old Quaker but that is not why her name is Chatterson. Her uncle is the Quaker oatmeal man and she is honest and dependable. She has a love relationship with Aim. They are married. She also has a funny laugh like that of a lion.

Then there are my two neighbors; Betty Crocker aka the Croc, and the Swan. The "Croc" is a aggresive, demanding individual who likes to get angry and flip things over. She bakes brownies and puts poison in her brownies and served them to some crazy homeless. Then there is the Swan. She squaks excitledly like a Swan and is very fun. She carries a recording device around and loves to laugh. Sometimes she comes into my room and does a funny little dance.

And last but not least there is the Highness. No one listens to her. She is very angry all the time and she refuses hugs. She grew up in bush and eats berrys and multigrains. She also plays with basket balls and is from the eighties arobics and she is friends with Richard Simmons, who is also her secreat lover.

Here are the brillant people I am around and love immensley, these are the people I call friends.

Carni Bandits

So we lost the chamionship game...disappointing...yes.

But in other news my laptop broke. Which sucks becuase now I actually have to buy something that works. Big pain in the butt. See I am a cheapskate. I don't buy much for myself becuase I can live off very little.

But now I have to eventually buy a computer. So here's how Im gonna do it.

I am going to find a group of bandits to rope into my sceme. These bandits of course will be rodeo carnis, they may have small hands, but they have slinty eyes and they are good disguisers.

So these carnies and I are going to start a traveling pants band. Which involves wearing pants on your head and playing the bango while dancing around in circles. While my carni bandits do this incestous act I will be flying from the ceiling and spreading the smell of cinnomin around. It's proven that if you spread cinnomin around your selling pitch your audience will stick around longer and eventually spend money.

So they will give my bandit group money enough to provide for their needs, such as food and pants. They will not need shelter becuase they all live in that little carni car.

If this does not succeed I will probabley get a part time job to cover my expenses...but that's always the last resort.

Facing the wall

As we lined up on the field I stared into the face of death...

Yes it was Lincoln's annual powderpuff football games. It was our first game and I had been playing center for offense and defense(I know there is another name for the defense but I forgot it.)

But lets take a flashback to a half an hour before the game. We gathered with our team and we were discussing a certain football player on the other team. I felt confident enough becuase I was center I wouldn't have to face her...

We line up to defend our turf and who is the center on the other side. The wall. Everytime I blocked her for the first couple times I would fly back two feet. Then she got mean. I would block her the first two times and then I would turn around, she would continue to block my back. If you don't know much about girls, they can play mean and nasty. I'll take a 300 pound man over a girl any day.

Iv'e played football since sixth grade with boys even and I have never felt the fear I felt that day. Everytime we bent down I prayed that God would forgive me of my sins becuase I never knew if this would be the last time. I survived barely and we won our first game.

We started our second game against another wing, I was shaking. The hits had taken a toll on my muscles...

Were playing in the championship today.
We'll see if any one breaks anything...

I got up this morning...actually I held on to my buck and pulled myself up. My whole right arm is completley bruised. I have never felt like that after a game.
Any close to death experiences?

2005

You know you're living in 2005 when.. ... ...... ............

1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave




2) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years





3) thE reaL reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have a screen name





4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing to button on the tv.




6) your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.







7) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling















8) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends













9) and.. you were to busy to notice number 5.









10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5











11) & now you're laughing at your stupidity

one of those days

Today was one of those days...

I realized I am poor...

I realized I am going to be poor for a long time...

I realized that I can contain a lot of information(thank you intro to bible test)...

I realized that trust comes through hard times...

I realized that you should do your work becuase there will usually be a suprise at the end of your day...

Today was one of those days that you want to crawl into the fetal postion, turn the lights off, and cry yourself to sleep...

To forget everything that surrounds you...all your work...all your relationships...all the good things...all the bad... and sleep the night away so the next day you can have a clear head about the decisions you need to make. You can be wise in situations and not impulsivley rush.

Today was one of those days...

Eating my words

Isn't a mess when you declare somthing and God declates something else.

Like say you won't ever work some where and God sends you there.

Or you won't date and you date(just an example).

Or you won't do the major that God just is calling you to do.

I have learned that I'm very bold when it comes to declaring things and a lot of the times I have to eat my words take my foot out of my mouth and do what God tells me.

Im just thankful that I do it a lot so that I can get over my shame quickley.

Past Pains

So I have discovered pain never really goes away.
I knew that before but today has pushed that fact again.

The death of loves, the relational strains, the unknowable answers of "what could of happened", the uncomforties of tragedy, the many consequences of bad decisions made in rushed moments, the understanding that past pain will lessen day by day but will always be there.

Greif is to big to diminish and sorrow is to great to overcome in a mortal and finite body.

What to do with these pains when they scab over and then are ripped open again?

Weep for the moment and then get up and start all over again.

That is how you understand and deal with the past.

Then approach everyone else in love so the past will never have to repeat itself in the same context.

Finished

So I finished my book. It was good and only took me two days.
All in all it's been a good week. Im totally Acing my principles of bible study. Pretty exciting.
I love you all
thats all I have to say.

New Book

So I went home this last weekend for my best friend's wedding which was Awesome. I was her maid of honor and it was just really cool.
But Sunday I hung out with Nick and Lisa and they took me out to lunch becuase they are Awesome and then we went to the Sam's Club of Christian book stores, Berean.
Nick bought me the newest hippest book on the market.
Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. If you have not heard it your out of the system becuase apparantly its really big.

And some of you may be shocked to read that I am already in the middle of the second chapter. I love it.

So Rob Bell states in his first chapter that the springs in a trampoline are like our christian doctrines. Their not the main point but they help get us in the air. Very simple but very in depth.

Let's face it... only Rob Bell can use a trampoline to compare to the Christian faith.

Anyways Thanks.

Death Stands above me

Death stands above me, whispering low
I know not what into my ear:
Of this strange language all I know
Is, there is not a word of fear.

Walter Savage Landar
(1775-1864)

Roman baths

Yesterday I learned something about Roman baths.
The way they cleaned themselves was they pust oil on along blade and they had someone scrape it across their back. Not only did the dirt come off but also parts of the skin. Fun huh? The reason for this is becuase soap wasn't invented until centuries later.

I probabley wouln't ever be clean.

would you?