Why

Why in the world does it happen this way.

Right when I am happy and content with the things that are occurring in my life this pops up.(This is a lie, yes writers lie to, it's called fiction- clearly, you haven't read The Da Vinci Code yet.)

Right when I have hit the point where school seems frivolous to me I collide into this detailed plan.(This is true)

Right when I forget to hear the music I walk into a room that is full of pianos in which only one is being played. (This actually happened to me today. They were selling piano's in the chapel. I walked in and there were at least forty pianos in the front room but only one was being played at the time. This sentence isn't just some poetic sentence used for the pulling of the heart strings.)

It's like that one piano is letting every other piano know that it is here for that specific reason.

Or it's like a coffee mug. If you fill it with pens, or tea it is not happy because it is not truly fulfilling its purpose. The only time it truly is happy is when it is full of coffee.(I have a coffee mug that is on my desk with pens in it.)

If you want to label an inanimate object with the emotional capacity for baggage.

I could use metaphor after metaphor but it wouldn't matter because real life is more existent(I spelled this word wrong when I first wrote it.)

Sometimes I worry about the people who are always laughing, because they must get tired of hearing themselves all the time.

The decision needs to be made the question is who makes it. Some say the individual will doesn't seem to be a real commodity in the economic status of Grace while others invest all their money in it. (People are obsessed with money. Oh wait is that me?)

The pro and con list has been made.(Yes I get some of my guidance from the show Friends.) The conversations are happening, but what if I don't do it. What if I don't go through with it. What if I rebel and run and do something else. I guess some would say I was a waste of something. Whether it be a gift or a just simply a lifestyle. But would I be miserable. Miserable in knowing that I could have done something else. Miserable and stuck.

But what if I do. What if it happens and I live but I'm miserable. Miserable in my thought process and miserable because I am surrounded by the masses who laugh at every thought and listen to every note without hesitation.

Am I the piano being played or am I just one of the pianos watching with a sadness.(Pianos are inanimate objects, they can't feel anything)

"What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?" E/O Soren Kierkegaard (Don't take that quote seriously I pulled it out of context.)

Sometimes self disclosure is not only dangerous it is self-contradictory.