I'm Anti-somethin'

For such a long time I have lived in Absolutes. I have had a couple of bad experiences with relationships and have chalked them all off. For three years I have been completely turned off to the idea of dating and marriage. I guess I came on campus and suddenly dating and marriage were status quo. It was like their was no longer a holy union. It had been torn apart by the mediocrity of our culture.

And I didn't want any part of this mediocre culture. I have never been one to settle for something that wasn't Awe inspiring. I didn't want to get into a relationship with someone who didn't understand my kingdom purpose. Heck, I didn't want to get into a relationship with any of my peers because no one really understood me. I weirded them out. Not only were they turned off but I started being turned off by this whole realm of flowers and candy and cheesiness. To the point where at the beginning of this semester I had completely given up on the whole thing.

I was talking to a professor on campus and I was telling him this reality of singleness in my own life and he just smiled at me. He said "okay, let's see how this semester unfolds for you." I was so frustrated with him because I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to sink in my education and I wanted to be left alone. I was content with me and God. I was content with what my life was going to look like single. I didn't want anyone to come and mess it up.

But God knows me better than I know myself. He actually cares for me more than I care for myself. And he put someone in my life that just wouldn't seem to leave me alone. (more on this later maybe)

So, today, I was sitting in the car and I was talking to my roommate and she asked me this, "So alison, do you feel kind of like an ass for doing what you said you would never do?"

And I told her no, I said "I guess I hate bad relationships, and by bad relationships I mean unhealthy ones. I hate anything that is not kingdom focused. I hate relationships that are all about selfish realities. I guess I have to say that I am kind of an absolutist and so if I have a couple of bad experiences than I just chuck the whole thing out the window. I hate being an absolutist too. "

So while I have always been Anti most things I guess its okay to give in once in a while. Otherwise life wouldn't be as spontaneous as it is.

This post didn't make any sense, at least probably not to you...haha.