Saturday, May 26, 2007

Elijah Thomas Plassman is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen and I love him!!!!!
There is something that I don't understand.

One thing that keeps me from doing the best.

For some reason I continue to live out a life that is glorified by my mediocrity. I am shamelessly trying to keep my head down, for if someone new the one thing that I am missing, they would start truly believing in me.

At the same time I am completely surrounded on every side. Surrounded by the air that seems to be clogged with the pollution of myself. I surround myself and I pollute my mind and my heart.

I eat the bugs that craw all over my bed at night and deshelve all of my emotions just to throw them on the floor for people to step on. I walk around in a web that is being torn down by the rain from the dark skies that torment me even when the sun is high.

My darkness alludes the light and shatters me from my mirrored self so all I am left with is someone unknown and foreign.

I am a foreigner, an illegal immigrant. I am being thrown out of a land that was once a home. I am searching for a place, a ruler, a country, a home to find my own.

I dare not tarry in this place for long for it might behave badly and prove them all right.

Come find me.

Some who wander are truly lost.

Lost in the facade that seems to live through transparency.

If I am wrong than I will lose most things and find myself at the bottom of a cage. This cage that everyone falls in and everyone so longs to think out of.

Think outside of the box while you still live in it. Think up a new bigger box to put things in.

Don't forget the lid.

I am a fake. A sinner. I find my life lost in rust stained chains that tear at my flesh and splinter my bones. I am chained to not only myself but to the earth. To the pollution, to the perversion, to the abuse. To the tree of choice. I am not a being but a symbol. A symbol of a human trying to represent a true life.

Jesus Christ is the only air, and is the only water, and is the only life that is truly pure.
There certain attributes that every super-hero has in their lives. These attributes are exceedingly important in truly defining the super-hero. While other humans can be defined by a multitude of things super-hero’s have specific requirements that determine their identity and their purpose. These requirements can be found in many of the comic book heroes that we so adhere and adore.


The first of these requirements is an estranged birth.


A super-hero must be born in a weird and unnatural way. This birth happens twice in a person’s life. The first is their physical birth. Usually this birth defines the culture and the atmosphere that will create a sense of true injustice in the super hero’s life. The second birth is when the super-human part of this person starts to form. Sometimes these two births happen at the same time, but there are times when there are singular moments when this super identity is truly formed. This can be seen in many of our own favorite super heroes.


Let’s look at Spider-man. Unfortunately the movies did not necessarily tell the best story of this super-hero, but Spider-man is a super-hero that had two births. Peter Parker was physically born with two parents who die when he is young and then is raised by his aunt and uncle. However, his powers don’t come to him until he is bitten by a radioactive spider during a science demonstration. Peter is a teenager when he inherits these powers and struggles with them for years. He desperately seeks out fame at first and then realizes that power is not something to take lightly. This lesson is taught by the loss of his uncle and his girl friend.


Every Super-hero has two births. One that is purely natural and one that is absolutely super natural. These two births usually conflict with each other and cause a tension between natural inclinations and super natural desires.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I hate relationships.

Yea, it's one of those days.

I'm sitting here with one of the girls on my floor and hearing about her new relationship and I just can't deal with it.

The cynic comes out and yells "It's all a big waste of time! It's totally illogical"

Yes I know that relationships are great and are full of flowers and butterflies, but I just don't want any part of it.

I just don't understand why 'relationships' make people do crazy and stupid things. It doesn't make much sense to me.

The sad thing is that I have done it. I have fallen into the trap of the crazed and have wanted to give it all away.

I don't think that I would want to be tied down. At least not today.

Maybe tomorrow.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Reaching Out, Henri Nouwen

"I vividly remember the day on which a man who had been a student in one of my courses came back to the school and entered my room with the disarming remark: "I have no problems this time, no questions to ask you. I do not need counsel or advice, but simply want to celebrate some time with you." We sat on the ground facing each other and talked a little about what life had been for us in the last year, about our work, our common friends, and about the restlessness of our hearts. Then slowly as the minutes passed by we became silent.

Not an embarrassing silence but a silence that could bring us closer together than the many small and big events of the last year. We would hear a few cars pass and the noise of someone who was emptying a trash can somewhere.

But that did not hurt. The silence which grew deeper around us we became more and more aware of a presence embracing both of us. Then he said,

"It is good to be here" and I said, "Yes, it is good to be together again," and after that we were silent again for a long period. And as a deep peace filled the empty space between us he said hesitantly,

"When I look at you it is as if I am in the presence of Christ." I did not feel startled, surprised or in need of protesting, but I could only say, "It is the Christ in you, who recognizes the Christ in me."

"Yes," he said, "He indeed is in our midst," and then he spoke the words which entered into my soul as the most healing words I had heard in many years, "From now on, wherever you go, or wherever I go, all the ground between us will be holy ground." And when he left I knew that he had revealed to me what community really means."

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sometimes I like to listen to music and image that I am in a music video watching people live.

Sometimes I like to wear my headphones and not even have the music on so I will be left alone.
Time seems to allude me.

With it's seconds, minutes, and hours.

I simply can't escape it and it's melodic depth.

When the day is done my life is still ruled by the one thing.

That I can't escape.

Time rules my existence and takes ahold of my identity.

Without time my world would dissapate,

Without clockwatching my world would take a disastourous turn.

I would become a person of null facts and dull opinions.

Time seems to allude me.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Charisma

So, there once was a girl who was from the dessert of Najiba. She lived a quiet life and found resolve at the well on the outskirts of town.

Her name was Dayton. She was a girl of great height and her streaked black hair reached to the middle of her back. She would put it up with a scarf when it was mid day for the sweat would entrench her shirt if she would keep it down.

She lived with her uncle and her cousin. Dayton's parents died of malaria at an early age and she moved in with her relatives and was acustomed to a life of tradition and solitude. Every morning she would wake, facing the east and would get up to wash. She would walk out to the bath and use cold water to wash her body clean. She always enjoyed the bath and would make it a ritual to stay in as long as she could. She even got up early on the days she knew would be long with work just to spend extra minutes in the cool fresh water.

After she bathed, Dayton would climb into a shabby frock and start her daily chores. She would sweep the house, feed the chickens, get fresh water from the well and weave baskets for her cousin to sell at market. These mediocre chores filled her day and while Dayton was filled with joy for her family she felt like there was something that was not being lived out.

See Dayton was not a normal girl, even though she lived a normal life. While she grew up in the dessert of Najiba her orignal ascent was from the tribe of gallan. The family that she thought she lost to malaria were actually part god and she was as well. Dayton, however, did not come to this realization until the day she turned 15.

Dayton had gotten up early because she knew that the day before her would be a day full of emotion. When Najiban girls turned 15 they were given away to the community for social and ritual rites. She would no longer have the name Dayton but would be given a new name. She would no longer work her normal chores but would be sent about the community doing things for people she did not know, nor did she trust. Because she had no parents she would, After two years of this, be sent to the temple of Trothel and would become a preistess. For without parents one cannot be married.

She got up with an anxiety that she could not swallow. Dayton had been dreading this day for years and was trying to take it moment by moment. She rose from her cot before the sun came up and slipped out the back door. She slipped off her sleeping gown and put her foot in the cool crisp water that had been poured just hourse before.

Her whole body was soon immersed and as she looked up at the last remaing stars she wondered what would become of her. As she sat peacefully in a state of bliss she heard a thumping off in the distance. A sort of clatter that could only be characterized by a horse or an animal of that size.

"Must be a midnight traveler," she thought as she focused once again on the stars before her. The sun had just started to peak and the thumping became hollow and got closer. She straitened up to see who was coming and suddenley a red stallion presented itself before her tub. A cloaked figure got down and lay prostrate before the tub.

Dayton watched this scene in shock as she tried to cover herself. The figure just lay there in silence as Dayton moved around and tried to figure out what was going on. Finally the figure stood and addressed Dayton by a name she was not familer with.

"Charisma, this message is from the Lord and Lady that have created the heavens and the earth." The voice was neither female nor male, but rather undefinable. "I was hear to fetch you on the day of your birth and to deliever you unto the courts of gradeur. There you will recieve your birth rites and your journey statements."

Dayton still in shock stumbled out of the bath and threw her towel around her.

"My lady, you must hurry, we do not have much time left."

What was Dayton to do. She knew nothing of this traveler and knew nothing of the plans set before her. She was given a new name but was not told by anyone that she was to be summoned at some court.

Dayton rushed into the house and without ceasing to be silent threw on some clothes. She also packed a bag full of extra clothes for she knew nothing of how long this absence would last.

She kissed her cousin and uncle and went outside to start a journey that would not only transform her life but would transform the world.

Laying out.

So, this is what always happens.

It is beautiful outside today, and all over campus girls are laying out to get tan and to do homework. Well, I thought that this was a great idea. So I took my blanket and my books and my mp3 player outside today.

I put my blanket on the ground and layed on my stomach and tried to read. One problem the sun was to bright to read the pages out of my book. Also there were big hairy ants crawling on me.

So I got up and tried to sit and read Indian style(sorry, that is cross legged for those who are trying to be politically correct).

However, I got distracted by all the people who were walking around. Also there were little fruit flies who were trying to eat me alive. I continued to try and read but it didn't work out.

So I got up and started walking towards my dorm. Now I want to take a nap because the sun made me tired.

Never again will I do something that every one else thinks is a good idea.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

24.3 reasons why penut butter rocks.

1.) It comes in various forms, chunky, penut, smooth.

2.) It rarley gets you sick(unless you eat Peter Pan, but then who eats peter pan anyway.)


3.) It combines with jelly of any variation and fluff.


4.) It's sticky.


5.) It goes extremley well with white bread.


6.) You can live off of it for days, no weeks.


7.) You can put it, not only on bread, but chips, cookies, fruit, and vegtables, and icecream. It hits almost every group in the pyramid.


8.) It goes really well with oreos.


9.) It can be comfort food or nutritanal.


10.) It goes really well with milk.


11.) You can take it on road trips.


12.) It comes in little packets at restaraunts.


13.) The excitment of getting to be the one to eat the first scoop.


14.) You can eat it by by itself.


15.) It lasts almost as long as twinkies.


16.) They make it with jelly.


17.) You can fry it.


18.) You can grill it.


19.) IT TAKES GUM OUT OF YOUR HAIR!


20.) It is the best thing to go into chocolate.


21.) If you put it on your enemies car seat while its in the sun it gets creamy and smelly.


22.) It comes in multiple sizes.


23.) My dad loves it so when my mom is out of town their is no pressure to cook.


24.) It goes with any beverage.


.3) It tastes just as good when you lick the knife after you are done spreading it.

Honey Moon

I have come to this realization over the past two years being at Lincoln. Whenever I go home and have conversations about church with some of my close friends that I grew up with or my close family I hear the same complaint.

"Well we are just looking for some deeper teaching." Or

"We just want a different style of worship"

Now I grew up with these people and my home church honed a lot of these people. Community Christian Church is where we found our home. We, being a great deal of misfits and out laws came together to form a community that could not be denied or dealt with. We were a force to be reckoned with. We understood the mission that we were living our lives for and we grasped what the cost truly was.

Our small groups were constantly filled with the people that we lived life with. Our services were compiled with the misfits and the outlaws that we knew needed something more than their old and meidocre lives.

Many of us have stayed extremley close and if one of us was in desperate need I know the others would not hesitate to show up in a minute.

But alas, high school ended. Three of my close friends got married. The rest went to college and are doing their own thing. Change happened.

So now I come home every once in a while and I see these people and we have the same old conversation. We laugh and cry about the memories and we talk about the present. And that old conversation comes up. I feel like I am constantly defending the home that I have loved for such a long time.

So after thinking about my friends and my family's pleas I have come to a slight conclusion. It doesn't involved getting married, it involves understanding the cost of being a christ follower in a place that is constantly changing.

I call it the honey moon affect.

Let me paint it for you.

So we have a church goer who has been attedning the same church for over five to ten years. This church goer found God at this church and found a true sense of community there. However, the church started growing and things started changing. This church goer saw her peers leaving for every excuse in the book.

This church goer stuck it out though. Waiting for the day when things became familer again. Finally the church goer starts complaning about the service. "The teaching isn't deep enough, the worship is to loud. It's gotten to big. No more community."

So the church goer leaves. Breaks ties with a community that has helped develop and streghthen them in Christ. The church goer goes to a different church and finds two things.

First is that they can't find a church to their liking. So they become church drop-outs, thinking that they can make it on their own, because you can be a Christian without going to church.

Or second, they find a church where there is deeper teaching. Better worship. Or smaller setting. They get involved and have a new sense of being. Two to five years later they have found themselves in the same predicament. Things have started to change or have just remained the same. Either way the church goer gets frustrated and starts complaining again.

Here's why. The church goer can go to a church that has deeper teaching or better worship and they will feel more mature. Maybe because they will start learning more Greek words. Maybe because they will get that great sensation after service. But it won't last simply because they have not connected. There is no risk in getting involved in a new church every five years. The church goer will remain tactfully detachted with looking like they are extremley involved. You don't become mature unless you start knowing Christ himself. You need to take charge of your relationship. And another thing, if you truly went to service every week and had the ability to live out the theological truths being spoken out in the next week then you are a better person than I.

The church is a body of believers that mess up. Things change, people leave. If you are not willing to invest everything into the bride that Christ loves with everything than don't attend in the first place.

Here this, I know that there are things that Community Christian Church needs to work on. They are a large community full of redeemed people. No church is perfect. However, I found God there. I have seen my closest friends not only find God but find their spouses as well. I have seen drug and sex addicted friends find God there. I know that God is active in that community and I am not willing to slander its name because I may disagree with one thing or a another.

My allegiance lies with Christ but I cannot deny when God is working in a body of believers.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I'm on to the soda shop

As you know every story starts off with once upon a time,

This one however, starts off with two roommates who had an imbittered hatred for each other.

One was drunk all the time on her laughter and her folly.

While the other was concerned with focusing all her energy on ignoring her roommates laughter and folly. Especially her random dancing and her pubesent personality.

They constantly competed. Every morning they tried to out sing each and skate each other.

Both of them would awake and slip their skates on. They would skate around their abode singing the great songs of the past while doing poiettes and leaps. This would create a great amount of rucus in which their neighbors did not truly appreciate.

After their morning romp they would go attend class and work and then come back and shout witful amphoisms until their vocal cords bled. They would them make dinner together and try to poison each other but had developed immunities to them.

Every day they tried to kill each other but every day they seemingly could not match each other's strength.

Alas these roommates became immortal in their strength and in their legendary stances.

Forever they will remain and forever they will be alive trying to defeat thier own existence.

Forever they will be roommates.