Wal-Mart

So there's not much to do here in Lincoln. But there is a Wal-Mart. And I found these things to do while being in the Wal-Mart besides shopping of course...
15 Thangs to do while in Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! '

If you plan to do any for these things I would like to know what your expereince was like.

Hoe-down

My dream was completed last night as I dressed in flannel and did an allaman left.

Yes that's right I attended my first hoe-down. Now I know most of you are very skeptical as I was but when I walked in I heard the famous words I heard in highschool. Line up against the wall. These words marked my freshman year with anguish and fear, becuase I was a intimated girl in an akward time but this time instead of ending up with someone gross with clammy hands I took control of the situation and ended up with one of my good friends.

When we started dancing we kept messing up which is just a funny thing but all in all I had a good time. Then we line danced. For those of you who don't know what this term means it is where many people stand in a line and follow the instructor to do certain steps. Also a good ole time.

But last but certainley not least was the circle dance. Now that is not the real name for this dance but we definitley were in a circle so I have renamed it. We all stood in a circle and was with our partner and then we moved. We switched partners. Now if you don't know what this means its this... I got to dance with every boy there. Actually it was a great way to meet new people. Plus I love to dance.

So all in all it was a great night full of flannels, lemonades, mess ups, and get downs.

Who are you?

Are you a church or a synagouge?

My neigbors

So here is who I live near and their descriptions.

There is my roommate. Who's name is Chatterson. She is a crazy old Quaker but that is not why her name is Chatterson. Her uncle is the Quaker oatmeal man and she is honest and dependable. She has a love relationship with Aim. They are married. She also has a funny laugh like that of a lion.

Then there are my two neighbors; Betty Crocker aka the Croc, and the Swan. The "Croc" is a aggresive, demanding individual who likes to get angry and flip things over. She bakes brownies and puts poison in her brownies and served them to some crazy homeless. Then there is the Swan. She squaks excitledly like a Swan and is very fun. She carries a recording device around and loves to laugh. Sometimes she comes into my room and does a funny little dance.

And last but not least there is the Highness. No one listens to her. She is very angry all the time and she refuses hugs. She grew up in bush and eats berrys and multigrains. She also plays with basket balls and is from the eighties arobics and she is friends with Richard Simmons, who is also her secreat lover.

Here are the brillant people I am around and love immensley, these are the people I call friends.

Carni Bandits

So we lost the chamionship game...disappointing...yes.

But in other news my laptop broke. Which sucks becuase now I actually have to buy something that works. Big pain in the butt. See I am a cheapskate. I don't buy much for myself becuase I can live off very little.

But now I have to eventually buy a computer. So here's how Im gonna do it.

I am going to find a group of bandits to rope into my sceme. These bandits of course will be rodeo carnis, they may have small hands, but they have slinty eyes and they are good disguisers.

So these carnies and I are going to start a traveling pants band. Which involves wearing pants on your head and playing the bango while dancing around in circles. While my carni bandits do this incestous act I will be flying from the ceiling and spreading the smell of cinnomin around. It's proven that if you spread cinnomin around your selling pitch your audience will stick around longer and eventually spend money.

So they will give my bandit group money enough to provide for their needs, such as food and pants. They will not need shelter becuase they all live in that little carni car.

If this does not succeed I will probabley get a part time job to cover my expenses...but that's always the last resort.

Facing the wall

As we lined up on the field I stared into the face of death...

Yes it was Lincoln's annual powderpuff football games. It was our first game and I had been playing center for offense and defense(I know there is another name for the defense but I forgot it.)

But lets take a flashback to a half an hour before the game. We gathered with our team and we were discussing a certain football player on the other team. I felt confident enough becuase I was center I wouldn't have to face her...

We line up to defend our turf and who is the center on the other side. The wall. Everytime I blocked her for the first couple times I would fly back two feet. Then she got mean. I would block her the first two times and then I would turn around, she would continue to block my back. If you don't know much about girls, they can play mean and nasty. I'll take a 300 pound man over a girl any day.

Iv'e played football since sixth grade with boys even and I have never felt the fear I felt that day. Everytime we bent down I prayed that God would forgive me of my sins becuase I never knew if this would be the last time. I survived barely and we won our first game.

We started our second game against another wing, I was shaking. The hits had taken a toll on my muscles...

Were playing in the championship today.
We'll see if any one breaks anything...

I got up this morning...actually I held on to my buck and pulled myself up. My whole right arm is completley bruised. I have never felt like that after a game.
Any close to death experiences?