Mudhouse Sabbath

One of my Old Testament professors recommended Mudhouse Sabbath my Junior year of college. I went to the bookstore and only found it on c.d. So I passed. Well about a month ago Waylon and I were in Barnes and Noble. We go there and walk around, even though we know that we can get any book for half the price on amazon. What can I say, we like the smell of new books.

While we were walking down the Christian spirituality section, I saw mudhouse sabbath. I was so suprised to see it in Barnes and Noble and I had to snatch it up. I started reading it while we were waiting on frieds at a restraunt and felt my soul stir.

The author, Lauren f. Winner, is a Jewish woman who converted to Christianity. The book is about 11 Jewish disciplilnes that she considers valuable for the Christian life. The introduction fascinated me, because she considers discipline essential to the Christian life.

Growing up I enjoyed lovely, and emotionally driven mountain top experiences. I felt on top of the world. I usually found these mountain top experiences at church camp, or at an emotional church service. I lived, and still live a chaotic, messy, and unorganized life. I would feel great for about a day and a half and then doubt would creep into my life. These days of doubt would be enforced by my own insecurities. Even now, as I have been making conversion decisions to follow Christ, I have had my doubts. I was called to quit my job and go back to school, and in that decision, I have worried about money, transportation, whether I am making the 'right' decision.

However, when I finally make the decision I feel wonderful. I actually did feel wonderful for about a week. I was on the Mountaintop! In that week I decided to go back the gym, to develop a discipline for excercise, housecleaning, and eating right. I also made a pact to myself to be a good wife, whatever that means. I felt wonderful. I felt like I could conquer the world and that Satan would fall beneath my 'oh so righteous' feet.

Then Saturday came, and I fell into a weepy mess. The reason I like Winner's introduction is because she finds "mostly [spritual practice/discipline] is about training so that you'll know the moutaintop for what it is when you get there."(xi)

I have always thought spiritual disciipline was for the wilderness times. The times when you feel lonley, desperate, in doubt, and full of insecurity. I figured if you could discipline yourself in those times that the mountaintop experiences would just be a break from your grueling disciplined life. Like going out for cake when you have good news. Or treating yourself to some new clothes when you get some money in the mail from a relative.

I just figured the mountaintop experience would be a chance for a bit of freedom from the discplined life. I have found however, that the disciplined life is supposed to be a life of freedom. We are called to followw Christ, to carry our cross towards our own death. We are called to a life of freedom from death and sin!!!!!

But, how can we even pick up our cross if we do not recognize what we are enslaved to? Discpline allows us to uncover our wonderful impulses. It allows us to find what we are addicted to and how to stop our addictions. It gives us the choice. The choice whether to eat the cake or not. The choice to spend the money or not. The choice to stay silent or to speak.

Discipline finds our sin and allows us to choose who to follow. Do we follow our impulses or do we follow our Lord?

And as I have grown, and gotten older, I have found a discpline for almost everything. Just as I have been reading in the Mudhouse Sabbath, there is a discipline for rest, a discpline for grieving, a discipline for body, for food, for spending money, for suffering, for speaking and staying silent. Wherever you start your discpline life you will not be disappointed when the Holy Spirit uses the practice to uncover more sin within your heart.

So, when I am atop the moutnain, I can feel free knowing that when I descend back into the lonley pits of misery I will be free.