Choice

My first semester of Seminary has been enlightening and discouraging. I have heard many things that I have come to disagree with theologically, which has led me on a theological journey. Trying to ask questions that no one seems to be able to answer, like;

Why are heaven and hell so crucial to our salvation? If neither existed would we still seek Christ?

Is the Bible supposed to be contextual? Is that is why there are so many contradictions within scripture?

Who is this God that we are worshiping? What is his character like?

And can we even verbally, physically, and psychologically know him?

Is baptism truly crucial to salvation?

Because of new brain research the soul does not really exist in a separate sense, do we have to go back and re-translate scripture?

Through our own Biblical translation how much of the message do we truly lose?

Can we actually know anything outside of our own context? And if we cannot does history matter?

What happens when the lamp stand of a church is taken away?

Why is the Restoration movement so disoriented and disconnected?

Is communion truly necessary to remember Christ? Can't we remember him through wearing a cross or saying a prayer? If there is no power in communion, if it is just a memorial, what's the point of doing it every week?

Why are there some Christians who actively work at their salvation with fear and trembling, and there are others who settle for a clean morality?

Why do we let historical examples of theological subjects determine our now moments?

In Evangelical Protestantism who is our Hermeneutical Pope or Magisterial Authority?


These questions have led me to question the very foundational theology that forms the restoration denomination. These questions have also led me to seek out different streams of Christianity. As I have been pondering whether to stay within the restoration movement I have been led to a choice. A choice whether to stay or go. A choice to leave my foundation, my home, my brothers and sisters, my mentors, and strike on a new journey.

As I have been sitting in class this morning the topic of church membership came up. My professor was addressing my generations abhorrence of membership. He stated that the reason my generation does not make a committed decision in any aspect of life is because we want to have our cake and eat it too. We do not want to make a public committed decision to a person, or a body because we want all of our options open. We want a quick escape. However, we also want the benefits of church membership, or marriage, or a specific career. We, as a generation, are so fearful of making the wrong choice, that we do not make a choice at all. In this sad decision we become shallow, impatient, and ungracious people. We can not stand another person's belief system because we are so insecure of our own.

However, being apart of this generation I understand this feeling. There is such a weight to be a great or powerful or wonderful person, that to just be ordinary is terrifying. I understand this feeling and I have lived through giving this feeling up.

While it was not easy to give up this 'great responsibility' I have been able to see that to be ordinary is deepening. To accept your ordinariness is life changing. This ordinariness frees you to be yourself, instead of someone you can never be. When you give up the illusion of grandeur, you find yourself on the other side, living.

A year ago I would be terrified to leave the Restoration movement. I would have felt that I was 'called' to be a trailblazer, or a wonderful author, or a great preacher.

However, God has only called me to follow him. He does not require me to save the world, or to make a wonderful contribution or to do great, powerful things. He only requires me to follow. To follow in my ordinariness.

Through my questioning I have been led to make a choice. And through my ordinariness I am free to make the choice. And through the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, I have been set free.