I think I have become more fearful as I have gotten older. I think of things more and I have become more concerned with my own morality and the morality of others. I think Satan uses these thoughts to cause worry and the need to control. I think the mind is a fun playground for Satan, because I truly believe that more than not we as human beings, are not aware of our own thinking.
I believe that is the reason we are called to pray. Often times prayer is looked at as a tool to communicate our needs to God. During my time growing up within the restoration movement I have not seen a deep understanding of prayer. I have noticed within the restoration movement, that prayer is an emotional response to God's work, or to human despair. Prayer is driven by our emotions rather than by our
minds.
While in high school my home church gave out journals along with yearly scripture plans to encourage Biblical reading. I began to write my prayers out. While my emotions still drove my prayer life, my journal helped me become a disciplined prayer.
When I met Waylon we would go to his home church in Central Illinois occasionally and I was told in a Sunday school class that you could not write your prayers out, because written prayers are not Biblical. The Sunday school teacher must have not gotten around to studying the book of Psalms. I had always wondered if my written prayers were being heard.
As I have gotten out of college and I have started becoming an adult I have lost my prayer writing. I have gotten out of the discipline of writing my prayers down. However, I have become more aware of the complexity of prayer and how it is a holistic response to God, rather than just an emotional response. I pray more deeply than I have prayed before, and often times I don't use words to do it.
However, I see the reality of prayer being a lifestyle choice that scripture gives us to help submit our minds to Jesus. I think that is why Jesus' form of prayer is so focused on God and his providence rather than on our own emotional insecurities and problems.
I truly believe that prayer is more about our minds becoming disciplined and submissive to the Spirit rather than anything else. Prayer allows the Spirit to convict our mental sins and gives the Spirit a chance to protect us from Satan's sneaky attacks.
When we are not self aware of our own challenges and our own sin we become a victim to Satan and his attacks and our mental sin seeps into the rest of our spirituality like a cancer. As I allow my negative thoughts to run rampant I find when I prayer and encompass my mind on God I find a peace that overcomes all my worry and anxiety. Just as we train our bodies and our emotions, we must also train our minds to preach and represent the Gospel.
1 comment:
Hey Lady,
This was such a nice post; I loved it. I believe that writing and self reflection is such an amazing tool - and writing can be so much more effective than speaking. For me, I have more chance to consider, look at that sentence I just wrote before or as I write the next one. It's so easy to not realize the words one utters, the focus of one's owns thoughts - but with journaling it's before one. The past, the adjustments of time, reconsiderations - a body of work that in itself speaks of confusion, error, but also growth and possibility.
Occasionally I look back at diaries I had that go back to being a preteen and it's not always fun. I am abhorred at some of my old thoughts, faults and pains. But there is also beauty there and relief I am no longer there. Not to mention faith that whatever is troubling me now, as with those pains in the past, will too pass.
Anyhow, thank you for the brainfood, and thank you for sharing part of your journey.
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